Reality Shmeality

Finally in a long chain of events
It's chilly.
I felt the harsh pang of wind
Hit my face this morning.
But it didn't hurt so bad.
I actually welcomed it
because it gave me some memories.
Looking at my new home i wonder
Is this all i'll ever know?
A place with boxes and
the hum of appliances.
No, no, no, i remember,
there's something different out there
and i'm so ready to feel it.
No more boxes, no more monotony,
just a room with candles, roses, and tea.
A breakfast nook with gentle sounds of a piano
Oh and no regrets in my past,
Just a strong arm around my waist
Holding me close as the sharp air hits my face
And reminding me that oh, my love,
no harm will befall you as long as you
pull in tight and feel the gentle kiss
of my lips on your forehead.
And I've tried to convince myself that
he's right...
but i know that those are just fantasies.
But dreamers never listen to those
who condemn.
Because those who condemn are just cynical
liars who think they've figured it all out.
They just don't know what to do now that
they let their dream die.
Oh but i appreciate it.
It's simple and sweet.
So i let those stupid reality checks
Fly away just for a minute or two
and I pull in, feel a kiss, and let the
smile curl back on my lips.

Waking Thoughts

Sometimes when I smell the morning
I can feel you riding on it.
When I hear your favorite song
I listen and close my eyes and remember
And it's happy.

A shake of the hand and a pleasant farewell
In knowing I'll see you soon.
Wishing you the absolute best
In a room full of hope

Oranges And Pink Roses Make Sense

And he woke up thinking today was going to be the same
Dull without a feeling or hint of orange
The same shoes, one of the same 3 suits,
same shave, same time leaving...
He thought this was what he wanted,
To be out in the world
And away from the smiles of children and their air.
He wasn't too good for them, he just never knew how
to say goodbye.

Years later, on his way to a job he was indifferent about,
with people he was indifferent about, knowing later he would
walk 2 blocks to the same old bar with the same people
and their problems that they'd never really try
to change.
As he began to reminisce about his old school days
a small hint of orange caught his nose
and brought him back.
It was the smell of the woman's hair in front of him.
For once he looked around and noticed flowers
that had been right beside him year after year
as he walked with a sort of gray purpose.

Dew on the satin pink and a little bit of sharp
green that prodded up against the bloom
were finally interesting to him. All these years
he had ignored everything except numbers,
facts, and cleanliness. Then this...

A jolt of the woman's body
caught his attention.
Her hair was vibrant and curled
her back was small yet strong
He just wanted to see the face
of the woman whose back had caught him.

She stepped away onto the train
and without a thought he followed her.
Yet he wanted to seem cunning
and adult, so he refused to talk about
meaningless nothings that would make
her laugh.
But his pride got the best of him.
He said nothing but sat behind her
and sought to see her face.
She left at her stop and he
wanted to so badly to chase after her and see her
but his pride got the best of him.
He and his pride kept him from loving for years.

That winter as he was once again walking
He looked over and saw a man holding
a candle to keep warm.
Then it grabbed his nose again.
Orange, sweet orange...
And there she was.
He could not forget that same
hair and gentle curve of her back.
He finally had spent enough nights alone
To be brave enough to say hello.
He touched her soft skin
And as she turned with tears in her eyes
She fell on him.
She had lost her husband 3 years ago that day.

And he accepted her.
With all of her baggage
all of her issues
her laughter
her tears
her torn love.
And the rest is history.

Red Red Red runs down my back

Clouded with thunder and lightning
Red eyes with a flash of painful color
Eat out your heart you filthy whores
Tonight is your night.
Make it last cuz it's all you have left.
Envy is a horrible thing isn't it?
Too bad the world is entirely green.
You mock a call for help
As you want to hurt all of those in sight
You want pain don't you?
All of this is a wasteland full of drought and fire
It's not done yet,
The boils pain us more and more
The diseases rot our flesh
Bring the twists and pangs of night
I can handle it
It's not like i've never done this before.
Bring your scalpel and use your words
use them to bring me down.
But i'll fight against the arrogant tone
I'll run up and shoot my arrows.
I'll sprint through the painstakingly long course
And I'll do this
I know I will.
Watch me because I can.
Beating my fists into your chest
With angry tears down my face
I am not pathetic.
I never will be
My tears are in hurt and frustration.
You don't care I know you don't
Congrats friend, you've won.
You've finally pushed me
completely out of your life.
I certainly hope this is what you wanted.
Because the price I pay is high
And I'm beginning to turn
An angry eye towards the mention
of your name.

Mornin'

My candle
with it's seemingly ceaseless flame
is getting brighter

And i guess it makes sense because
well with all this darkness,
something has to shine.
not that it's better, of course,
but it's there.

And that makes a difference.

I have to believe that in this world
So full of the stinch of death and hate
is a candle
matching mine
with a name on it
that brings me to joy-filled tears.
That's my Romeo.
That's my knight in shining armour.
That's my guy.

In the Scarlet Plantations Subdivision

Ratta tat tat
Ratta tat tat

is all we heard the whole time
except for when I asked him how he felt.
Just fine.
Then we kept going
It was dark and the rain kept falling
The trees kept bowing down
like ocean waves and tender hearts
Lights blared every once in a while
But it was mostly dark.

I'm really lonely.

That's the only thing he could murmur.
Then the giant that was my brother
Sunk into a faint figure by the window.
We stopped in for a moment
then we left for home,
but passed right on by.
I couldn't give a reason except
I'm not ready to go home yet.
And he was okay with it.

We drove until my tears
Couldn't be held back any longer.
And I broke.
We both broke in our own ways.
I cried and he shrank back.
When I composed myself,
he had fallen asleep.
So i drove half an hour more.
And when we got to that house.
We walked in without a word
And fell into our rooms


And this morning we all woke up
And pretended like it never happened.

Itching

Peace is difficult to find
Within and outside myself.
But at least she has her head up high.
At least she sees nothing wrong.
Thank God for that.
It'd be a pity if someone
Who never loved him
Was too bold.
And the one who did,
Just let him go
Because she had no idea what he wanted.