Peace is difficult to find
Within and outside myself.
But at least she has her head up high.
At least she sees nothing wrong.
Thank God for that.
It'd be a pity if someone
Who never loved him
Was too bold.
And the one who did,
Just let him go
Because she had no idea what he wanted.


I'm shaking in my boots

In a strange window of time
In the snowglobes
And witch hunts
My eyes began to itch
at the sight of a rebellion.
The silence pierced our ears
As the idiots took their places.
Come, show us your stuff,
and we'll just laugh.
Take your pens
And write them a story
I'm sure they'll critique.
With this medicine,
who knows what you'll find.
And she even cried
at the sound of our story.
And someday with you in your office,
and me teaching notes,
maybe we'll think of each other
at the same time.
And how it could have been.

Can't you see i'm not bad?
Smell the roses and see
that every thorn has a purpose.
Eventually after crawling
all the way up the stem,
something beautiful is always at the top.

Don't roll your eyes at me

Take comfort.

Two words that we've forgotten.
Take comfort in home,
in friends,
in situations.
Maybe this happened for a reason.
Maybe something would have happened,
That could have hurt us worse.
But what will happen is yet to be discovered.
It's your prerogative now.
I will not be humiliated in a game
I can not win.
If you want something, come and find it,
but i will not be treated so horribly.
Your expectation to be pleased
is so daunting.
I've gotten to the point that
I can no longer take it.
I will not be reduced to a lap dog
as I have allowed myself to become.


Oh Frank, How you made us sway...

Ill be seeing you,
In every lovely, summers day,
And everything thats bright and gay,
Ill always think of you that way,
Ill find you in the morning sun,
And when the night is new,
Ill be looking at the moon,
But Ill be seeing you.

Ive got a song that I sing
I can make the rain go
Any time I move my finger
Lucky me, cant you see - Im in love

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

For nobody else, gave me a thrill
with all your faults, I love you still
It had to be you,
wonderful you,
it had to be you

-Frank Sinatra


Get the Cymbals, I'm going out with a BANG

The time is running out
For me to make a difference.
I'm just one girl
With only one voice
Wanting desperately to be heard
By only a few.
But they won't listen.
It's only nonsense,
They say,
Shoving me in a room
Where I can see them
But they can't see me.
I'm haunted by the ghost
Of leaving ones you love
And being alone in a house
Staring out the windows all day
Without contact
Without words
Without touch...

... Feeling love is so hard now
I'm not sure if it's being betrayed
Or betraying others that made me
Made me lose all hope in it.
The numbness of hitting a small child
How innocent
How precious
But my metal against her frail being
Oh how wretched I must be!
I feel nothing
I wish someone could save this
Mangled mess of a person
But I just won't let them in
Not now.

Freedom is a luxury,
Not a right. Not to me.

Giving It Up

As we settle now at the end of things
All of us tired and wanting explanations
The screen caught our gaze
Even though secretly no one wanted to look
Slide after slide began to run
Antique in their manner
And taunting with their memories.
Silence fell as we began to realize
Our hurt began to fade when we knew
All that we were angry at wasn't real
We'd made up things just to get by
Because we couldn't handle missing each other
In such good light.
So we built walls, barriers, with our pitiful reasons
We made them higher and higher
Reaching to the heavens in a scornful look.

Then we remembered the slide show.
And watched the good times
Forgetting the bad.
I saw the one of you when you were little
Ice cream running down your face
You laughed with both of your front teeth missing
And me with my curled pigtails
In my watermelon dress and sandals
Sitting on the wooden fence.
We're all so bent on getting what we want
And I don't know how to fix it.



I can't be poetic about it.
You were the only thing on my mind.

You're the only face I could see tonight
And your eyes pierced to my inmost being.
Your voice stole my breath as always.
Your words to my ears made me weak
You know what gets me.
You know how I think.
I can't stop thinking about that night in the park
Your wonderful arms around me
And all I could think was
This Is So Right.
You know you're the only one that matters
So i'm here.
still here in my chair with my open door
just please come in.
It's awfully cold outside
And though you like it that way,
I've been dying to tell you how I feel.


freckles show up this time of year

The wind towards the North
I'm finally feeling the strength beneath my wings
And the light-heartedness is back.
I can breathe with ease
And sip something sweet on my back porch swing.
The smell of a free life.
Concerts in the summer on late nights
Snapping fingers and soulful laughter
Light summer skirt and a gray tank top
Hair pulled back in a messy fashion
The lantern lights are bright
And i have love to show.
I'm willing to try.
Let me show you.
I have new life and i'm wanting to share it
The door is open
And I'm sitting in the rocking chair on the right.


Self Portrait

It fell bringing silence with it.
The ruffled rose on cold car door
The keys staring back at me
with an expecting patience
To play a beautiful melody.
But my trills, triplets, beats
Have left my memory.
I sit in the stilled room
with the cold wind racing in the open window
The white curtains float and fly
As to reach and caress the beautiful wood
Dressed in cream with pearls pinned in my hair.
A storm has just passed and it's quiet
The last bits of rain play as they fall.
Turning with a hopeful glint in my eyes
I climb out and run with bare feet and open arms