19.1.10

Uneasy

It's a bitch to not know where you stand
with about 5 people.

Patterns fade to gray
as the kaleidoscope melts in our laps
It wasn't beautiful after all.
Books about love and all it has to offer
only pinpoint those small significant moments
that make life worth living.
Everything else is shit.

I learned something from someone very dear to me:

Don't you get it already?
You aren't your mom
You aren't your books
You're.. you
A mess with no direction,
falling apart when you hear reminders of the past,
A gentle hurricane with no fear but heart like a child.
Don't lose that. Forget perfection and all of it's lies
Be a mess. Be a nasty bitch sometimes.
It is what it is.
When you find who you are, things heal.
But until then, fall apart.
Life isn't tomorrows.
It's the day after yesterday and you're stuck in it

Love her, love him
and when it's gone, remember it for what it was.
It's the hardest pill to swallow, but best you'll ever take
Give it time.
Time doesn't heal all,
It just makes it easier to forget the past.

Yeah, I still love people who have forgotten me.
And that's ok. It's ok to find love somewhere else.
It's ok to still be broken and falling apart
Just remember who you are in this moment.