25.1.10

Confession

I have unfinished business with 10 people.
Here we come, honesty train wreck.

Every so often you need to take a day
And be blunt with everyone you've fucked over.
It'll make life a hell of a lot simpler.
Tell them I'm sorry and quit regretting your life.

Honesty day...
Begins tomorrow.
Blame it on the fact that I still get irritated with you.

Go Rhett Butler

You are not your fucking khakis.

It's always that last look that is important.
Right before you look away
and realize you won't see him for a while.
Touch is easily forgotten
But when his eyes burn in your mind
... insomnia begins

A little twisted it may be.
A little unconventional.
Meh, who gives a shit anyway
We're all too high to notice.

He followed me back
And sat in my room
Watched me sleep
Turned each corner with me
Held my hand.
At least I wished he did.

Sleep was the only way to fully see him
And it was now impossible.

His eyes are the most beautiful thing in the world.
Deep pools that both calm and alert you,
make you curse your life for days.

But now, quite frankly, I don't give a damn.
Kinda.

19.1.10

Uneasy

It's a bitch to not know where you stand
with about 5 people.

Patterns fade to gray
as the kaleidoscope melts in our laps
It wasn't beautiful after all.
Books about love and all it has to offer
only pinpoint those small significant moments
that make life worth living.
Everything else is shit.

I learned something from someone very dear to me:

Don't you get it already?
You aren't your mom
You aren't your books
You're.. you
A mess with no direction,
falling apart when you hear reminders of the past,
A gentle hurricane with no fear but heart like a child.
Don't lose that. Forget perfection and all of it's lies
Be a mess. Be a nasty bitch sometimes.
It is what it is.
When you find who you are, things heal.
But until then, fall apart.
Life isn't tomorrows.
It's the day after yesterday and you're stuck in it

Love her, love him
and when it's gone, remember it for what it was.
It's the hardest pill to swallow, but best you'll ever take
Give it time.
Time doesn't heal all,
It just makes it easier to forget the past.

Yeah, I still love people who have forgotten me.
And that's ok. It's ok to find love somewhere else.
It's ok to still be broken and falling apart
Just remember who you are in this moment.



11.11.09

A Ghost I'm Trying to Forget

I no longer think of your voice or your kiss
but when i am kissed i only see your face
and i don't want to.
I see not the face of my lover, but of a ghost.
One who broke me completely,
but who is now a ghost.
Where are you?
In the cool crisp winds of Michigan?
I miss you and I don't know why.
That final night where you would not look at me hardly.
It rings in my mind and keeps me awake at night.
You are still here.
And I see you everywhere and you just won't leave

12.5.09

A Final Parting to an Unfulfilled Dream.

I woke up screaming your name last night.
And I don't know why.

But to say my final peace,
because for some reason my dreams
refuse to think i have,

I loved you,
we fucked it up,
i'm sorry it had to be that way.

Good luck up there,
just don't forget who you are.

20.1.09

Now I finally understand The Princess Bride

A deeper pang still sits.
But it's all of a sudden feeling better.
A song is renewed
And i feel young again.
I've never seen stars until now.
Sure they existed but life hadn't yet.
Now they're like a gentle reminder
every 2 seconds
that you exist.
And i exist with you.
I see things with new eyes.
My heart jumps at the mention of your name.
My eyes lost until they find yours.
And it's so nice.
Because when mine meet yours,
your gently smiling right back
and i'm home.
I'm very much home.

14.1.09

It's like not coming up for air...and not minding one bit

So calm and so natural
Gentle flow of your hands on my waist
Feeling the wind as it blows my hair from root to tip
Slight pressure on the small of my back
A gentle whisper
Small laughter and a bashful face
I feel a squeeze on my hand from yours
And there we are...
hand in hand, perfectly knit.
Just like we'd been like this for years
Me in my silk and you in your tie
Everything so smooth and nonchalant.
Breathe in and out
And feel the evening fly by.
Touch, baby, and never let go