Uneasy

It's a bitch to not know where you stand

with about 5 people.

Patterns fade to gray

as the kaleidoscope melts in our laps

It wasn't beautiful after all.

Books about love and all it has to offer

only pinpoint those small significant moments

that make life worth living.

Everything else is shit.

I learned something from someone very dear to me:

Don't you get it already?

You aren't your mom

You aren't your books

You're.. you

A mess with no direction,

falling apart when you hear reminders of the past,

A gentle hurricane with no fear but heart like a child.

Don't lose that. Forget perfection and all of it's lies

Be a mess. Be a nasty bitch sometimes.

It is what it is.

When you find who you are, things heal.

But until then, fall apart.

Life isn't tomorrows.

It's the day after yesterday and you're stuck in it

Love her, love him

and when it's gone, remember it for what it was.

It's the hardest pill to swallow, but best you'll ever take

Give it time.

Time doesn't heal all,

It just makes it easier to forget the past.

Yeah, I still love people who have forgotten me.

And that's ok. It's ok to find love somewhere else.

It's ok to still be broken and falling apart

Just remember who you are in this moment.

A Ghost I'm Trying to Forget

I no longer think of your voice or your kiss

but when i am kissed i only see your face

and i don't want to.

I see not the face of my lover, but of a ghost.

One who broke me completely,

but who is now a ghost.

Where are you?

In the cool crisp winds of Michigan?

I miss you and I don't know why.

That final night where you would not look at me hardly.

It rings in my mind and keeps me awake at night.

You are still here.

And I see you everywhere and you just won't leave

A Final Parting to an Unfulfilled Dream.

I woke up screaming your name last night.
And I don't know why.

But to say my final peace,
because for some reason my dreams
refuse to think i have,

I loved you,
we fucked it up,
i'm sorry it had to be that way.

Good luck up there,
just don't forget who you are.

Now I finally understand The Princess Bride

A deeper pang still sits.
But it's all of a sudden feeling better.
A song is renewed
And i feel young again.
I've never seen stars until now.
Sure they existed but life hadn't yet.
Now they're like a gentle reminder
every 2 seconds
that you exist.
And i exist with you.
I see things with new eyes.
My heart jumps at the mention of your name.
My eyes lost until they find yours.
And it's so nice.
Because when mine meet yours,
your gently smiling right back
and i'm home.
I'm very much home.

It's like not coming up for air...and not minding one bit

So calm and so natural
Gentle flow of your hands on my waist
Feeling the wind as it blows my hair from root to tip
Slight pressure on the small of my back
A gentle whisper
Small laughter and a bashful face
I feel a squeeze on my hand from yours
And there we are...
hand in hand, perfectly knit.
Just like we'd been like this for years
Me in my silk and you in your tie
Everything so smooth and nonchalant.
Breathe in and out
And feel the evening fly by.
Touch, baby, and never let go

Reality Shmeality

Finally in a long chain of events
It's chilly.
I felt the harsh pang of wind
Hit my face this morning.
But it didn't hurt so bad.
I actually welcomed it
because it gave me some memories.
Looking at my new home i wonder
Is this all i'll ever know?
A place with boxes and
the hum of appliances.
No, no, no, i remember,
there's something different out there
and i'm so ready to feel it.
No more boxes, no more monotony,
just a room with candles, roses, and tea.
A breakfast nook with gentle sounds of a piano
Oh and no regrets in my past,
Just a strong arm around my waist
Holding me close as the sharp air hits my face
And reminding me that oh, my love,
no harm will befall you as long as you
pull in tight and feel the gentle kiss
of my lips on your forehead.
And I've tried to convince myself that
he's right...
but i know that those are just fantasies.
But dreamers never listen to those
who condemn.
Because those who condemn are just cynical
liars who think they've figured it all out.
They just don't know what to do now that
they let their dream die.
Oh but i appreciate it.
It's simple and sweet.
So i let those stupid reality checks
Fly away just for a minute or two
and I pull in, feel a kiss, and let the
smile curl back on my lips.

Waking Thoughts

Sometimes when I smell the morning
I can feel you riding on it.
When I hear your favorite song
I listen and close my eyes and remember
And it's happy.

A shake of the hand and a pleasant farewell
In knowing I'll see you soon.
Wishing you the absolute best
In a room full of hope